new spell acquired:
go slow
saturday i will play for seven hours in the atrium, while visitors see art and architecture and plants. (so far i've practiced for about twenty minutes... a pretty astonishing preparation/performance ratio.)
we have created space for more stories to unfold: half hidden. [web]
the operative surprise was the call to disavow ourselves of hope.
both the monotheistic promise of heaven and techno-utopianist solutionism.
which are in so many ways the same.
(staying with the trouble is about reframing our relationship to the world by weaving new patterns and staying radically present.)
related:
"for most people optimism and hope become part of the toolkit through which they give themselves momentum. actually if you get those tools out of your kit, all of these other tools fall into place and become useful. all these things that those tools tell you you can't use. it's like if you have some universal screwdriver and it sortof works with most screws and when it doesn't you still kinda get it and use it anyway even though it isn't the right size. if you fucking throw away that universal screwdriver... positivity... and then look at what other tools you actually have and start using the right tools... you don't fucking need hope, you don't need promises of utopia, you don't need promises of heaven, you don't need promises of a next life... it's all fucking bullshit. if we're always running away from unhappiness with those promises of utopia and promises of heaven... that's just one more way of creating a kind of cultural paralysis and distance from personal engagement with your own material conditions. getting rid of dreams and hope is really freeing."
"Alone, in our separate kinds of expertise and experiences, we know both too much and too little, and so we succumb to despair or to hope, and neither is a sensible attitude."
ten beings
reach for the sky
as one
attempted a no-trim technique for our winter survival bunker (less tends to be harder than more)
local white pine, gapped tongue and groove, from local mill
approaching completion, feels warm already
while discussing the moderation of online communities a friend observed the similarities to video game mechanics, for example, the rush to defeat a whatever before it splits into two whatevers. (the analogy being, garbage attracts garbage.) but the second comparison transended the original topic: a frequent boss battle pattern is the slow/big/enduring whatever that rapidly and continuously generates smaller flimsy whatevers to occupy your attention, the challenge being that the situation will not end until the big whatever is gone.
considering the state of humankind. even though we may think we've identified a (or the) big whatever, we're perpetually overwhelmed by the small whatevers which on an individual scale appear quite large. and the big whatever is so huge it blocks out the sky: it's just the entire backdrop, so in a sense it becomes invisible.
declaratives
make me nervous
and i should probably chill out but
i really love herons
too
.... .. . . ... .
. . ..... .. . . . ...
.. . . . . . ... . . ... .
meaning is not intrinsic
... . .. . ... .. . . .. . .
it is created
know when to use precise language
know when to weave vague poetics
know when there is nothing to say
goth sunflower faces away from the sun
is there a spell or
plant medicine or
bit of code
to banish
automobiles and
cell phones
from my dreams
production time again. spent today preoccupied with the wastefulness, fragility, and excess of modern society's global supply chain.
humans aren't going to survive without shifting away from competition, towards collaboration. and re-acknowledge our being a part of nature.
saw three eagles today. it's not uncommon these days. that is nice.
the well-known study is that rats will quickly addict themselves to drugs if available.
the virtually-unknown study demonstrated that when the cage is enriched with interaction and play with other rats along with exposure to nature, the same rats will ignore the drugs and never become addicted.
(source: michael pollan discussing your mind on plants in some interview)
rats and humans do not always get to choose their cage.
"Both our present science and our present technology are so tinctured with orthodox Christian arrogance toward nature that no solution for our ecologic crisis can be expected from them alone. Since the roots of our trouble are so largely religious, the remedy must also be essentially religious, whether we call it that or not. We must rethink and refeel our nature and destiny."
ed and shelly sit in a bar. ed begins.
"actually i was thinking about me and all the bad things i've done in my life."
"like what?"
"well, like when we used to go down to mosquito lake and drop boat anchors on frogs."
"why?"
"it was fun."
"yuck. do indians believe in sin?"
"what do you mean?"
"you know. original, venial, mortal. see, if you were catholic you could say a bunch of hail marys and our fathers and the slate would be wiped totally clean"
"oh right?"
"uh huh"
"and then you don't get punished or anything?"
"uh uh"
"oh wow... (pause)... what about the frogs?"
"what about them?"
"well... they're still dead"
"well that's true, but, if they were good little frogs, they'd gone to heaven"
"oh"
knots and ridgelines
pine needles
moss
quartz
sea water
sunshine
cloud not from today
but highly illustrates today's energy
last week i played a virtual show with about a dozen other programmer-musicians for the second edition of flashcrash[1]. the event focuses on livecoding, which has the premise of building music from code and showing the screen as it happens. my set was captured for asynchronous viewing[2].
the community that created the performance series also materialized a meta-micro-genre: mapcore, which has its own university[3].
[1] flashcrash.net [web]
[2] tehn, from flashcrash 2 [youtube]
[3] mapcorps.net [web]
“I do not particularly like the word work. Human beings are the only animals who have to work, and I think that is the most ridiculous thing in the world. Other animals make their livings by living, but people work like crazy, thinking that they have to in order to stay alive. The bigger the job, the greater the challenge, the more wonderful they think it is. It would be good to give up that way of thinking and live an easy, comfortable life with plenty of free time. I think that the way animals live in the tropics, stepping outside in the morning and evening to see if there is something to eat, and taking a long nap in the afternoon, must be a wonderful life. For human beings, a life of such simplicity would be possible if one worked to produce directly his daily necessities. In such a life, work is not work as people generally think of it, but simply doing what needs to be done.”
today i awoke to the existence of something i dreamt of fifteen years ago:
shade map [web]
when we were looking to move rural we understood the importance of sunshine, but the best we could do was go by the often-repeated advice (for the northern hemisphere): find something with southwestern exposure. that formula is ridiculously oversimplified if you live somewhere with steep winding valleys.
i imagined the thing linked above: basically a map with date ranges showing sun exposure.
my reaction today upon discovery was a curious mix: initial enthusiasm given this is a nice use of computers processing data into physical reality usefully, but immediately boredom given a decade's familiarity with the valley's shadow-shapes, and lastly a irksome trepidation that this is the sort of data that fuels land prospecting in a time of scarcity.
which made me recall my pre-move excitement for a herd of whatever where i might fit them all with radio-frequency-id tags and have my computer display a map of their whereabouts, you know, because data is interesting... or more precisely, perhaps i didn't know where to apply my skills? now i cringe upon hearing "internet of things."
i am interested in technology yet it has become a tsunami of dread. the ship promises the shipwreck. technological solutionism is absurd, and it is the new optimism.
but standing in the presence of a tree in the wind, sun or shade, there is respite in now and being.
(this feels like a draft and i'm going to publish it anyway.)
non-metaphorical wild blueberries
when picking wild blueberries
and sugar snap peas
and red currants and even shiitake
it's important to stop and
change positions and
look at the exact same spot
and something appears
sometimes you must simply close
your eyes and
open them
the american sycamore shades the chaparral ravines where i grew up. they grow well near water, even if that water is seasonal. on the opposite coast this tree is also found but not in our particular valley. we planted dozens and they seem to be at home.
negative capability — the ability to exist amid uncertainties, mysteries, and doubt without reaching for absolutes (whether science or spirituality)
phrase first used by john keats [wikipedia]
twice yearly ritual: quitting coffee
the exact dates are difficult to anticipate
go by feel
tehn@nnnnnnnn.co